The Inner Critic: That Voice in Your Head and How to Listen to It Differently
What is the inner critic?
We all know those voices in our heads that want all sorts of things. Thoughts that guide, doubt, plan, or hold you back. But one voice is often remarkably present: the inner critic.
The inner critic can be subtle, but also harsh and clear. It's that voice that says you can do better, that you're not doing enough, or that you've handled something incorrectly. Listening to this voice can unknowingly chip away at your self-confidence.
And perhaps you recognize that: you're enthusiastic about something, but a thought immediately follows that diminishes that enthusiasm.
Building self-confidence doesn't happen by itself. It requires awareness, gentleness, and concrete steps. In this blog, I will guide you on how to learn to deal with your inner critic differently.
Very unkind… yet intended as protection
The inner critic can be very unkind to you. Perhaps you have believed what this voice tells you for a long time:
“You are not good enough.”
“You should have done this better.”
“Soon they will see that you can’t do it.”
Over time, these thoughts can become so familiar that you start to see them as truth.
And yet…
Just like fear, the inner critic often originated as a form of protection. This voice tries to shield you from rejection, mistakes, or pain. By keeping you small, it believes it keeps you safe.
The only problem is that this protection also prevents you from growing, making choices, and pursuing your dreams.
The inner critic gives negative feedback until you stop doing what you actually want. Not because it's against you, but because it thinks it's safer.
How do you recognize your inner critic?
The inner critic doesn't always take the same form. Sometimes it's a clear, harsh voice. Sometimes it's a soft, almost imperceptible doubt.
It can be helpful to become curious about what your inner critic sounds like:
- Is it a strict, judgmental voice?
- Or a calm voice with small remarks?
- Does it speak in short sentences or in elaborate stories?
By investigating this, space is created. You don't have to change the voice immediately; just recognizing how it works makes a difference.
Building self-confidence in two ways
1. Consciously being proud
A simple but powerful exercise is to write down something you are proud of every morning and evening.
That can be something big, but also something small:
- finishing something
- expressing your feelings
- getting through something
- staying true to yourself
By doing this regularly, you train another voice within yourself, so to speak.
You show yourself, and your inner critic, that another perspective exists.
Research into positive psychology shows that consciously focusing your attention on what is going well helps to strengthen your self-image and break negative thought patterns. And perhaps after a while, you notice that the critical voice becomes a little softer.
2. Getting to know your inner critic through SoulCollage®
Another way to work with your inner critic is to make it visible. When you create a SoulCollage® card of this part of yourself, something interesting happens.
You search for an image that represents this energy. Often, you automatically come across an image that precisely captures what you feel, without having thought about it beforehand. By then working with this card through the “I am the one who…” process, distance and insight arise.
You are no longer looking only from the critic, but also at the critic. This is also called a helicopter view: you see the pattern without being fully immersed in it.
Shining a light on the shadow
What is often surprising is that the inner critic does not only have negative aspects. When you get to know this part better, you often discover that it also has qualities:
- it wants to help you improve
- it wants you to be careful
- it wants you to grow
Only the way it does that is sometimes too strict or unhelpful. By working with this part, you can, as it were, guide it towards a more supportive role.
Instead of:
“You're not doing it well”
it can change into:
“How can you do this in a way that feels better for you?”
A different relationship with yourself
Working with your inner critic does not mean you have to push this voice away. It means you are building a different relationship. You go from:
- believing what the voice says
to - listening to what lies behind it
That requires practice. And gentleness. But step by step, more space emerges. And with that, your self-confidence also grows. Not because the critic is gone, but because you are stronger in the face of what is happening within you.
Working with cards as a next step
Want to do more with your SoulCollage cards? In the SoulCollage® Studio, you get the space to create and work with cards monthly, so you can gradually develop more insight and balance.
